This mad rambling article will cover the 6 months I spent in Thailand looking for love.
To find ladies I mostly used Thai Cupid (formerly Thai Love Links). So this article focuses on the do’s and don’ts of using this particular dating site. A lot of what I touch on will apply to other sites as well.
First an important note: Thai dating can screw your life up, so learn from my mistakes!
First Fortnight on Thai Love Links
I was living in China and had enough of the craziness, so at short notice I booked a two week vacation in Bangkok. I had very little time to research anything, so if you are planning a trip to Thailand, then do as much research as you can before you go!
You can read about my experiences of Bangkok in this article.
Anyway, as soon as I got to Bangkok I signed up for a year’s membership of Thai Cupid and started contacting ladies.
Oops… the first mistake quickly became apparent. Although I was generating quite a bit of interest from ladies, they tended to lose interest as soon as I told them I was staying in a hotel in Nana. Of course Nana is associated with Nana Plaza, ladyboys, gogo bars and farangs out for a good time. Actually it’s also full of swanky hotels and great places to eat, but as far as Thai ladies go it’s a place to avoid…
So if you are marriage minded and want a Thai bride, then be careful where you book a hotel! Avoid Nana and Patpong, and of course don’t go anywhere near Pattaya.
Well I heard that if you signed up to Thai Cupid you’d get bombarded with interest. Sadly it wasn’t quite the case, and in a fortnight in Bangkok I only managed a single date through the site. Disappointing, and much, much worse than I did in my visits to China and Japan!
So another tip here – 1-2 months before your trip to Thailand, sign up to Thai Cupid and start getting acquainted with ladies. Once you arrive in Bangkok it’s too late really.
And another tip – if you’re serious about finding a Thai bride then spend as long as you possibly can in Thailand. For me things improved over time, but the first fortnight was a great disappointment.
After a week in Thailand I decided I wanted to stay. No, I tell a lie, after 6 hours in Thailand I decided I wanted to stay there!
So I made plans to stay there long time.
If you’re too young to get a retirement visa it’s a pain in the ass getting a long stay visa, but it can be done. So having acquired a year long visa, I restarted my Thai dating efforts.
So what did I do, and what were the results?
The first thing to say is that online dating requires huge effort if you’re a man. Maybe it requires less effort if you’re a hunky guy or a young female who’s a 9 or 10. But for us ordinary guys we need to be prepared to spend at least 2 hours a day on a dating site.
My tips for finding ladies to contact are:
- Log on frequently. Use different searches. Find ladies who have recently logged in.
- Change your profile, especially if things aren’t going your way.
- Upload the maximum number of photos, and ensure all your details are filled out.
- Work that site like crazy, but at the same time, don’t be needy.
I’m pleased to say that my online dating started to get results. While I was in Thailand I must have averaged about 2 dates a week. Still not great statistics, but I felt I was getting enough dates and wasn’t feeling lonely.
And what of the ladies I dated?
- I mostly dated ladies in the 26 – 38 age range, so that was 14 – 2 years younger than myself. My gut feeling is that if you want a much younger bride then go to the Philippines. Although if you’re in your 50’s or older then it’s still possible to find a Thai bride who is still in her 30’s or 40’s.
- I met some ordinary girls and some absolute stunners.
- Although there are a lot of Thai women on Thai Cupid, there is also a lot of competition. Thailand is a popular place to live and to go on vacation, so the girls can afford to be choosy.
- I never managed to date any ladies with enhanced breasts, that would have been nice but they are very popular and have really high standards.
- If you’re an older dude yourself then it’s hard to find a much younger girl who’s still in her early 20’s although a few are looking for sugar daddies.
- While there are some great ladies in Thailand, academically they lagged way behind the ladies I dated in China and Japan. If you like very smart women, then Thailand isn’t the place for you.
- Most ladies I met did speak some English and communication wasn’t too hard.
What of Ladyboys?
There are ladyboys on Thai Cupid. However, you’ll find that they register as either females or males. This is a problem because to see the widest selection of ladyboys possible, you have to allow your profile to be visible by men and also you’ll need to make yourself contactable by men. The unfortunate downside to this is that you’ll get hit on by gay dudes who definitely don’t look like ladyboys.
Anyway, if you get emails from men then just ignore them, don’t get angry or anything. It’s just an unwanted annoyance.
The good news is that there are plenty of ladyboys on Thai Cupid. I found it quite hard to get dates with them, due to so many being temperamental. Like one had skin problems and wouldn’t come and meet me until her skin improved. Another was worried about acne – something I’m not worried about at all, in fact it’s a bit of a turn on for some reason.
Another warning – if you’re interested in both ladyboys and ladies, keep your interest in ladyboys off your profile, as it will put off a lot of ladies! Ladies DO NOT generally like ladyboys or men who are interested in ladyboys.
What About Scammers and Undesirables?
Well yes, there are plenty of scammers and crazies on Thai Cupid.
The good news is that if you’re in Thailand then you’ll avoid most of the scammers who target foreigners living in other countries.
I will add that if a lady is reluctant to meet you, then find somebody else to talk to. Many ladies are only interested in extracting money from foreigners, and they have no interest in actually meeting men in real life.
Dare I say that this could well be why I didn’t get as many dates from the site as I’d expected?
I did have a few no shows on dates. That never happened to me in China or Japan. So don’t get your hopes up too much – Thai women can be flaky. Definitely don’t fly all the way to Thailand to meet just one lady.
Although most of my dates in Thailand originated from contacts on Thai Cupid, it’s not the only way to meet Thai ladies. I did quite well on WeChat – in fact it was pretty good at finding dates, considering the randomness of the whole thing. The girl I got on best with didn’t even tell me her age till our second date, and actually it worked out OK.
Don’t just focus on Thai women, there are plenty of other nationalities living and working in Thailand. Here’s more about how I did with non-Thai women.
Bars and clubs are fun, but probably not such good places to find wives. Better places to look are in Thailand’s many shopping malls.
When going on a date, take the girl to a restaurant you’re familiar with – don’t let her set the agenda. If she’s worth it, take her somewhere nice. If she’s got no future with you, go to a cheap place.
Sometimes Thai girls bring their friends along as chaperone. If the girl is shy then this is probably OK and legit. If the girl is confident then she might be out to get a free dinner for her and her friend. This happened to me once, and I was pretty sure they were two lesbians who wanted to find guys to pay their bills.
Finally, be wary of Thai girls with apparently legit jobs. For example, I chatted to a nice girl who worked in a hotel, but I later found out she was a hooker on the side. It’s more common than you might think.
Well that’s all I can remember from my time spent trawling Thai Love Links. If you’ve got any questions, or some tips of your own, then leave feedback below.